I must say... Saturday I had a little breakdown, if I'm being honest here. A breakdown that was sprung on by pizza. I encouraged him to order pizza. It is, after all, a thing we'd typically do on a Saturday night. I was trying to be nonchalant about the whole matter, when inside all I kept hearing was "you're on this diet because you're broken. You're not good enough to get pregnant without weird desperate measures."
I cried out of frustration as I reheated my gluten-free spaghetti and asparagus spears left over from the night before. It was a quick
"You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44
Satan is full of lies, and it's easy to believe them. It's easy for me to look in the mirror and see all of my imperfections as reasons why I don't deserve something. But the Lord says:
'"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."' Jer 29:11
He's got my future all figured out. So why stress out about not eating pizza? I know that this diet and the other things that come with it aren't my ticket to pregnancy. I just have hope that if I'm faithful with it all, at the very least, I will be healthier for it. Healthier in mind, body, and spirit.
But HEY. I'm allowed to eat meat...and by golly, I am. Tonight I cooked myself a fillet Mignon. The hubs is in California for work- So I had a dinner date with me, myself, and I. And the puppy salivating at my feet the whole time. Ahhh, well. On to the next.
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